In my opinion, the most important thing for someone who’s in a situation where they need help or they’re struggling is to be able to find the strength, the courage, to talk to anybody, whether it’s a professional or a friend.

The best way to shake a stigma is to go on the front foot and the awkwardness alleviates very quickly. These conversations shouldn’t be awkward, because they tell someone that you’re concerned about them and that you care about them. It’s important to push through perceived awkwardness, for the right comment at the right time could change someone’s entire life.

When the rain doesn’t come, the constant pressure can be hard to escape. Being involved in a rugby club can take peoples’ minds off it all. It connects them with old friends who have shared experiences. Whether there are 30 people in a room or 300 at a game, you’ll become aware that you aren’t the only one that feels ‘down’.

What the country jersey means to me

I was playing a game in Brisbane and a guy from Armidale who’s now working in Brisbane presented us with the country jersey. We started talking about a bloke who used to coach me in under-11s at Coonabarabran. He died by suicide just a couple of weeks earlier.

Although it’s incredibly tragic, it’s not uncommon, which is terrible. That’s why I feel this Positive Rugby campaign is so important. It might be all someone needs, coming in, hearing someone else talk about it and being able to relate to it. That might be what my old coach needed to grasp, that he wasn’t alone.

I was back home three weeks ago. I don’t get to go often. The closest I’ve been to home playing rugby was round one of the NRC in Dubbo, for a city-country game. It was such a good weekend.

There were so many people, rocking up from all over. Coonamble, Warren, Gulargambone, Walgett, Bourke, you name it.

I feel privileged to don the country jersey. It means a lot to me and I know it means plenty to the blokes I’m playing with, and the people out in the bush.

It’s humbling to represent the people that you know have supported you. I feel like I try to represent them the best I can, whatever jersey I wear, but particularly the country jersey.

‘I knew a boy from the bush’

Sometimes you don’t achieve the goals you set and that can be very difficult. There have been times where I’ve put so much pressure on myself and it’s been hard to understand how things didn’t pan out the way I wanted.

But they’re just goals, not values. Values are what define us; they are what make us have another crack when you get knocked down.

I knew a boy from the bush, he’s grown up now but when he was six he swam the 50m freestyle in Sydney, at the state championships. It was his only event that day and when he dived in he lost his cap, which he’d never worn before. He stopped swimming momentarily, grabbed the cap, and swam on. The boy came dead last and still thought it was a great trip to Sydney, even though the swimming hadn’t gone well.

Four years later the same boy came back and won the 50m freestyle and four other events. I’d ask the question: when was the boy more content with himself – at age 6 or 11? His values had remained the same but the goals he set for himself had changed. It shows success can mean different things, depending on how you choose to look at it.

I’m lucky. I’ve got a close circle of people that I trust. I trust their opinions and it’s important, particularly as athletes, to have people like that because we criticise ourselves so much. We’re criticised by others and sometimes you forget to recognise when things are good and to maintain a balance in life.

If this story has brought up strong feelings for you, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 46 or MensLine Australia on 1300 789 979.